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Join Me and Marci Shimoff as they unravel the truth about finding genuine joy.

Discover Marci’s journey from deep unhappiness to becoming a beacon of joy and how you can apply these insights to transform your life.

Explore the balance between external appearances and internal fulfillment and find out why true happiness might just be the most essential health of all.

Your host, Nathan Crane, is a Certified Holistic Cancer Coach, Best-Selling Author, Inspirational Speaker, Cancer-Health Researcher and Educator, and 20X Award Winning Documentary Filmmaker with Over 15 Years in the Health Field.

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#TrueHappiness #PersonalGrowth #TransformYourLife

Audio Transcript

 

(This transcript was auto-generated so there may be some errors)

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:08:10
Nathan Crane
Welcome back to the podcast. Today I am joined by Marcy Shyama. Marcy, what’s happening has been a couple of years since we talked. How are you doing?

00:00:09:05 – 00:00:15:24
Marci Shimoff
I’m doing great and I love that I get to talk to you, but it’s always a blast when I get to talk to you. So I’m sure we’re going have a great conversation.

00:00:16:11 – 00:00:45:09
Nathan Crane
Well, you’re you’re. Thank you. And I feel the same. You’re a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. And, you know, from your New York Times best selling books to, you know, the millions of lives you’ve helped transform around the world by bringing different perspectives on happiness and fulfillment in life, not to mention success in how to help people really dove into their inner find their inner happiness, find their inner joy, find more fulfillment and purpose in their life.

00:00:45:09 – 00:01:07:20
Nathan Crane
And that’s some of the stuff I want to talk with you about today. Right. You were just saying offline, you’re like, well, you know, my main thing isn’t really health. And I’m like, Yeah, but it really is, right? Because mental health, emotional health, like to me, that’s number one. Physical health is important. And I far too often think that people actually spend more time, maybe too much time on what they look like rather than how they actually feel.

00:01:07:20 – 00:01:27:18
Nathan Crane
And this is where you see people at the gym who look frickin amazing and you talk to them and they’re a wreck or mental wreck, emotional wreck right there. They have a lot of self-pity, a lot of self-doubt, a lot of insecurity. And like, who cares? All the the muscle and leanness and beauty that you look like on the outside of inside you feel freakin awful.

00:01:27:22 – 00:01:35:13
Nathan Crane
Right. And so I know that’s your specialty is helping people discover true happiness. So I’m excited for you to share.

00:01:35:13 – 00:01:52:06
Marci Shimoff
So I appreciate that. I appreciate the recognize that it is definitely the inside wellness that matters. First, I think and the outside wellness is great and the outside look is great, but it’s the inside stuff that matters.

00:01:53:05 – 00:01:59:01
Nathan Crane
Now, tell me a little bit about your personal story, because you went through some pretty tough times, didn’t you?

00:02:00:06 – 00:02:26:13
Marci Shimoff
I did, actually. You know, I I write and speak around the world about happiness. So people always assume that I was always happier. They say, weren’t you always like this? And my answer is, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I was born depressed. I came out of the womb with existential angst. I was an unhappy camper from the get go.

00:02:26:13 – 00:02:50:22
Marci Shimoff
The pictures of me as a little kid, I just have this, like, this heavy feeling, you know, little kids usually are smiley. I was not that I was not smiley. I think now when I look back, I it was perhaps some either ancestral trauma that I was carrying around or some, you know, perhaps if you believe in it, maybe past life, PTSD, I don’t know.

00:02:51:07 – 00:03:20:02
Marci Shimoff
You can’t know. But I my solution to my depression as a as a young kid was something called sugar. I became a sugar addict. And as you well know, that’s a very temporary high. So I feel good for about 15 minutes and then crash. And by the time I was in high school, I was about £35 overweight. So I did what most people do when I was in my early twenties.

00:03:20:13 – 00:03:34:20
Marci Shimoff
I wanted to get happy and what people do when they want to get happy is they set goals for themselves. And I set these goals. I set five of them and I figured once I reach these five goals, I will then be happy.

00:03:34:22 – 00:03:52:17
Nathan Crane
It’s going to be. You are an advanced 20 year old, right? I think a lot of a lot of people in their twenties are like, I want to get happy. All right, let’s go to the bar. Let’s go get drunk. I smoke some. We have sex, right? I think I think you’re a little bit more advanced than a lot of younger people today, unfortunately.

00:03:52:17 – 00:04:23:04
Marci Shimoff
Well, I was a seeker from the get go, so I definitely wanted a good life and wanted something more than just the party life. So when I was in my early twenties, I set these five goals and I’ll share them because I think people can relate to them. I wanted to have a successful career helping people. I wanted wonderful, a wonderful husband or life partner, fabulous friends, a comfortable home, and the equivalent of Halle Berry’s body.

00:04:24:03 – 00:04:47:11
Marci Shimoff
Now, I got four out of the five. I did not have Halle Berry’s body, but I do have a body that is very healthy now, for which I am extremely grateful. And I’ll tell you, Nathan, I worked so hard to get all my ducks in a row to just make sure that all those things lined up. And when I was 1998, so I was 30 then.

00:04:47:11 – 00:04:53:11
Marci Shimoff
For those of you who are doing quick math, I’ll do it for you. I’m 66, but when I was 30, I might.

00:04:53:11 – 00:05:05:21
Nathan Crane
You look amazing for 66, by the way. So there’s I actually didn’t know you were in your sixties. I thought you were literally, like, early fifties, maybe so as a testament. That’s a testament to what you’ve been doing is clearly working.

00:05:06:15 – 00:05:26:16
Marci Shimoff
Yeah, well, thank you. I certainly feel very young and I feel great, but so I had all these I had lined up by then, all my ducks in a row and have the career and had the partner and have the friends and have the home and, you know, is the great. Except actually I was 40 I’m sorry I wasn’t 30.

00:05:26:16 – 00:05:29:24
Marci Shimoff
I was 40 in 1998. So I had a turning.

00:05:29:24 – 00:05:33:07
Nathan Crane
Point in 20 to 20 years to achieve all those goals, basically.

00:05:33:07 – 00:05:38:15
Marci Shimoff
22 years. That’s right. It took me 20 years to get all those ducks in a row so that I could be happy.

00:05:38:16 – 00:05:41:04
Nathan Crane
You were in excess after 20 years?

00:05:41:04 – 00:06:07:11
Marci Shimoff
Yes. Overnight. A 20 year overnight success. That’s right. And I had this experience, Nathan, that was, you know, was that one of those wakeup calls I had just finished giving a speech to 8000 people, and I had just autographed 5432 books. My client had hired a massage therapist to keep massaging my hand so I could keep on writing.

00:06:07:14 – 00:06:08:04
Nathan Crane
Oh, wow.

00:06:08:08 – 00:06:33:20
Marci Shimoff
And I remember after signing that last book, on one hand, I felt like an author rock star. But I went up to my hotel room, which was the penthouse suite that my client had gotten for me. And I walked over to these huge windows overlooking Lake Michigan. I was in Chicago, and I took in that view and I turned around and I collapsed onto the bed and burst into tears.

00:06:34:15 – 00:06:56:15
Marci Shimoff
And I burst into tears because I realized that after all of that hard work and all of those things, all that I had done, I still felt that emptiness in my heart. I still felt that emptiness inside of me. And I realized this was the end of that road that I could no longer fool myself into thinking that just that next thing was going to do it.

00:06:57:06 – 00:07:20:15
Marci Shimoff
Because I realized that, yeah, I would get it. I would have an accomplishment or something would happen and I would feel good for a week or a month or a couple of months maybe. But then I would return to that kind of feeling of Something’s not okay, something’s not right. And so that’s when I decided, that’s it, I am going to figure this thing out once and for all.

00:07:20:15 – 00:07:53:08
Marci Shimoff
And I dove deeply into the research on happiness. I interviewed all of the experts out there, and I did my own research. I interviewed 100 unconditionally happy people. I call them my happy hundred, and I started doing what they were doing and it started working and I started feeling truly, deeply happy inside. And it’s grown and grown. I would say back then if you were giving me a grade, I was a D-plus in happiness and today I am a solid A.

00:07:53:08 – 00:08:20:13
Marci Shimoff
Now that doesn’t mean I’m not a work in progress, because I am I am always, always doing the work and that it is solid. And what I know now, I’ve taught this to hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions, who have read Happy for no reason that it’s possible for anybody. No matter where you are on the happiness continuum, you can absolutely be happier.

00:08:20:13 – 00:08:36:10
Nathan Crane
It’s so true. It’s so powerful. And I wanted to ask you, though, when you were 40 at that time, and yet you’re speaking to 8000 people and signing 5000 books and all of that, was that the The Chicken Soup for the Soul series? Was that those books?

00:08:36:18 – 00:09:05:00
Marci Shimoff
That was after the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series. That was before the next kind of quantum leap, which was the secret that I was in. But yeah, that was after the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, and I felt very blessed to write all of those books. I wrote the women’s books in the series, so I wrote seven of them and yet there came a time after having written seven of them where I just said, I can’t do this anymore.

00:09:05:00 – 00:09:28:01
Marci Shimoff
I am so bored and and I quit and people thought I was crazy. What if you’re, like, part of this? Just the bestselling series? It’s so hot. And I just said, I cannot cook up another book of Chicken Soup for the Soul. And I followed my heart on that. And thank God I did. So led me to my next the happiness work.

00:09:28:01 – 00:09:53:19
Nathan Crane
Yeah. Which I mean, I just want to reiterate that a little bit. Recap what you just said for people listening. You know, you had a healthy body. You were famous, basically. You were, you know, doing work that you, you know, wanted to do at the time. Right. And you were, I would say, probably pretty rich at the time or wealthy, wealthier than 99% of people, I would imagine.

00:09:53:19 – 00:10:13:12
Nathan Crane
Right. So it’s like money, fame, success, respect, you know, good relationship, good body, everything that everybody strives for every day that they think I’m finally going to be happy when I’ve got this or all of this. And here you are, an example and not the only example out there. All right. This is a very common story that you hear.

00:10:13:12 – 00:10:19:00
Nathan Crane
I’m very successful, wealthy, famous, you know, so, you know, healthy people. Is that.

00:10:19:00 – 00:10:19:15
Marci Shimoff
There? Yeah. I mean.

00:10:20:04 – 00:10:24:14
Nathan Crane
It’s hard when you’re chasing those material things solely. Right.

00:10:25:19 – 00:10:51:03
Marci Shimoff
It’s so true. I mean, if happiness I mean, if fame and money and good looks and all of that at success were the key to happiness, we’d have a lot more happy people in Hollywood, and we know we don’t. We’ve got it. You know, there’s so much addiction and depression and suicide. So it’s very, very clear that it is not the key to happiness.

00:10:51:03 – 00:10:55:17
Marci Shimoff
And the other things really are.

00:10:55:17 – 00:11:26:04
Nathan Crane
Yeah, that’s that’s huge. That’s there’s nothing wrong with those things. And they can definitely bring they can bring some happiness to your life. Right. I mean, I definitely know being poor, like literally no money, don’t know where my next meal is going to come from. You know, don’t have enough gas to literally put in my car to drive to the store, don’t have money even if I had gas to drive the store to buy anything anyway, you know, to the point where it’s like you don’t have to worry about food or gas or paying the bills anymore.

00:11:26:17 – 00:11:52:01
Nathan Crane
That definitely impacts the quality of your life and your level of happiness, there’s no doubt about it. But what I’ve discovered is that kind of stuff will never lead to true fulfillment. Right. And fulfillment, I think, is really what you’re talking about when you teach and you write about happiness. Is that true happiness? It’s that lasting happiness. It’s that it’s not that you’re, you know, walking around 24, seven, giddy and joy and bubbly all the time.

00:11:52:01 – 00:12:11:17
Nathan Crane
It’s like you have a sense of peace, economic money, a sense of fulfillment in your life where you’re happy majority of the time, or at least at peace majority of the time, and not this deep yearning emptiness inside that says, you know, that’s yearning for something else to make you happy. You’ve learned to make peace with with where you’re at.

00:12:12:00 – 00:12:12:12
Nathan Crane
Is that right?

00:12:13:13 – 00:12:35:22
Marci Shimoff
ABC lately. Right. You know, I call it happy for no reason. What I mean by happiness, happy for no reason doesn’t mean that you’re walking around 24 seven with a silly grin on your face. What it does mean is that you have an inner backdrop of peace and well-being that doesn’t depend on your circumstances. And the reason that we want that is that’s what’s lasting.

00:12:36:03 – 00:12:56:22
Marci Shimoff
You know, money comes and goes. People come and go, relationships come and go. Health can come and go and what and if those go, you still want to have that interstate of peace and well-being. Now, that doesn’t mean you’re not going to feel bad. When someone dies, you feel grief. That’s natural, but you’ll still have this backdrop of peace and well-being.

00:12:57:03 – 00:13:19:13
Marci Shimoff
I say that there’s really four stages of happiness. The first three stages are around. While there’s first of all, the first stage is not happy. We know what that looks like and feels like. Then there’s happy for bad reason and that’s when people recognize that they’re unhappy and they try to get happiness from something that is not life supporting.

00:13:19:22 – 00:13:43:18
Marci Shimoff
So those are the addictions. So happy for bad reason is let me drink, let me have something to eat, let me, you know, shop. It’s a temporary fix that actually leads to you know, more, more problem. Then there’s that third stage we were just talking about, which is happy for good reason. Happy for good reason is I’ve got a great family, I’ve got great job.

00:13:43:18 – 00:14:22:09
Marci Shimoff
I’ve got all of the wonderful things. That’s fabulous. It’s just not the stable state of of happiness because as we said, it can come and go. It’s based on the external. And then there’s that fourth state. And the fourth state is fully internal and that’s happy for no reason that inner state of peace and well-being. And so I am all for happy, for good reason and I believe that that can come as a result of being happy on the inside first, because the happy on the outside will never bring you the happy for no reason but the happy for no reason.

00:14:22:09 – 00:14:44:01
Marci Shimoff
State actually will bring you greater success. Happier people have been shown to make over more, more, more than $1,000,000 more over the course of their lifetime. They have a greater success in work. They have better relationships. There’s a lower divorce rate. They are one third less likely to get sick. On average, they live 7 to 9 years longer.

00:14:44:11 – 00:14:49:00
Marci Shimoff
So these are the fringe benefits of going for that interstate of happiness.

00:14:50:01 – 00:15:02:10
Nathan Crane
So that obviously leads to the question, what did you discover from all these experts that you practice that they recommend and you’ve discovered in your own life and teach to others? How can people become happy for no reason?

00:15:03:03 – 00:15:23:19
Marci Shimoff
Great. Well, I love this question, you know, because this is the real juice. So where the rubber meets the road. First, let me just share with you one piece of scientific research that I think is the most important piece for people to understand, to get about why why happy for no reason. And that is that the science has actually cracked the happiness code.

00:15:24:06 – 00:15:45:07
Marci Shimoff
We know what it takes for people to be happy. I think that should be headline news. Here it is that happiness is the one thing that people have wanted from time immemorial and we actually know scientifically how to get it. So what scientists found is that we all have what’s called a happiness set point, and your happiness set point is like a thermostat setting.

00:15:45:14 – 00:16:05:00
Marci Shimoff
No matter what happens, whether it’s good or bad, you will tend to hover around your thermostat setting unless you do something consciously to change it. This is why people who win the lottery and you know, most people think, oh, well, I’d have to do is win the lottery and then I’d be happy. Well, you would be happier for a few months.

00:16:05:12 – 00:16:30:00
Marci Shimoff
Within a year you would return to your original happy to set point. And the same is true for people who have tragedies generally. Within a year they return to their original happiness set point. So the set point is the key to it all. And here’s how it’s determined. It’s 50% genetic. You’re born with it. I was not born with the good happiness genes.

00:16:31:18 – 00:16:57:18
Marci Shimoff
It’s 10% your circumstances. I want you to notice that it’s only 10% our circumstances and that is what everybody is so busy trying to fix or change or manipulate or control in order to be happier. And it’s only ten, 10% of the pie. The other 40% is our habits of thoughts and behavior. And that’s where we have the greatest leverage.

00:16:57:18 – 00:17:23:15
Marci Shimoff
And I’m going to take it a step further and I’m going to go back to that 50%. That’s genetic. And people, as you well know, Nathan, people in the field of epigenetics, Dr. Bruce Lipton, who wrote the Biology of Belief, they say that we can influence or change our DNA, our genes, by changing our habits. So that means that up to 90% of our happiness set point can be shifted by shifting our habits.

00:17:24:02 – 00:17:54:00
Marci Shimoff
And that is the only difference between people who are happy and everybody else. They have different habits and like to me, hallelujah, great. Just teach me the habits of those happy people. And you could be happier. And that’s you know, this is this isn’t rocket science. This is actually quite simple. And what I’m going to share with you I’m going to share with you the main habits, and I’ll give you some practical things that people can do, because I really love the practical.

00:17:54:09 – 00:17:59:09
Marci Shimoff
So Nathan, should I just share some of the main habits?

00:17:59:09 – 00:18:00:14
Nathan Crane
Yeah, please go ahead.

00:18:02:07 – 00:18:26:03
Marci Shimoff
So I found that there are 21 habits. Now, that’s a lot of habits for people to kind of remember, but so I found that they fell into seven main categories. So that’s easier, easier to remember. And people still don’t have an easy time remembering seven of anything. So I created a metaphor or analogy to remember this. I call it Building Your Inner Home for Happiness.

00:18:26:17 – 00:18:43:10
Marci Shimoff
And as I go through this, I invite everyone to pay attention to where are you the weakest? Because wherever you’re the weakest, that’s where you want to start. That’s your Achilles heel. So, Nathan, I’m going to put you on the spot at the end of this and ask you, where are you the weakest? Okay.

00:18:44:09 – 00:18:44:22
Nathan Crane
Perfect.

00:18:44:24 – 00:18:46:15
Marci Shimoff
So these seven areas I’m.

00:18:46:15 – 00:18:54:17
Nathan Crane
Not as my as my wife and my kids. I’m not weak in any of them. 100%. Perfect. Hundred percent. Okay. All the time.

00:18:55:11 – 00:19:01:05
Marci Shimoff
So we’re going to ask you to imagine that you are one of them and they are answering that question for you.

00:19:01:12 – 00:19:06:00
Nathan Crane
Oh, oh, oh. That’s going to be that’s not going to be good. All right.

00:19:06:24 – 00:19:29:24
Marci Shimoff
Well, I’ll tell you where I’m the weakest, so I’ll start first. So anyway, a home out of seven main areas. It’s got a foundation, it’s got four corner pillars, it’s got a roof and it’s got a garden. And here’s how this relates to your inner home for happiness. The foundation is taking responsibility for your life and your happiness.

00:19:30:18 – 00:20:00:11
Marci Shimoff
It means not showing up as a victim of life, a victim of your circumstances, and instead showing up as a victim or a co-creator of your life. So, you know you’re a victim when you do one of these three things or all of them blame, shame or complain, blaming others for your unhappiness, I can’t be happy to know the person I’m married to or the kids I have or the parents I had.

00:20:01:11 – 00:20:27:15
Marci Shimoff
Shaming is blaming yourself. Oh, I’m just I can’t do it. I’m. I’m not good. I can’t do this. Right. And then so shaming is self blame and then complaining complaining about your circumstances. Well, if you lived where I lived, you couldn’t be happy. Right? So blaming the outside, the weather so bad, you know, we live in in a world of conflict.

00:20:28:04 – 00:20:39:07
Marci Shimoff
So, yes, that is true. And you can still be happy and you can take responsibility for your happiness. So that’s the first level is taking responsibility for your happiness.

00:20:39:07 – 00:20:52:14
Nathan Crane
I mean, not thinking about those three the same complain. Right. Because I think I think every one of us here at some point blames, shames or complains about something, whether it’s happiness or not. Right.

00:20:53:10 – 00:20:53:19
Marci Shimoff
Right.

00:20:54:20 – 00:21:17:17
Nathan Crane
So it’s one thing to become aware of it and that’s step one. It’s like, okay, I’m aware that I’m doing this and it’s probably not helpful, you know, fully accepting it, I would say, is probably step two, right? Like I need to fully accept that I’m responsible for this and it’s definitely not helpful. And then what do you recommend people for step three?

00:21:17:17 – 00:21:26:05
Nathan Crane
They’re like, okay, I accept it, I’m aware of it. I know that these things are not helpful and they’re actually harmful. What can I do about it? And I think that’s what people want to know.

00:21:26:15 – 00:21:54:24
Marci Shimoff
Yeah. So, you know, it’s interesting because what I have found is that when we become really aware of the habits, that is the biggest step you can take to shifting it. I recommend that people play what I call the blame, shame and complain game and it’s a little game. I learned it in a workshop 20 years ago that I was taking and we we each started with $21 bills.

00:21:54:24 – 00:22:23:08
Marci Shimoff
You could do it with Ricans or dimes. It doesn’t matter. And throughout the workshop, any time we would find herself blaming, shaming or complaining, we had to put a dollar in this bowl. And I thought to myself at the beginning of this game, this is easy. I got this down. You know, I teach this stuff. Nathan The very first day I had gone through 14 of those $1 bills in the bowl, I mean, I’m like, you know, I’m sitting there in the room and I’m cold and I’m complaining, Oh, my God, this room is so cold.

00:22:23:08 – 00:22:47:14
Marci Shimoff
I’m freezing. Well, I’ve been in a million of hotel ballrooms taking workshops or teaching them. I know that it was my responsibility to bring layers or to go over to somebody and say, Hey, can you turn up the temperature here? Right, rather than sit there and complain about it. So anyway, the first day I went through 14 $1 bills, by the second day I was down to seven.

00:22:49:00 – 00:22:52:04
Marci Shimoff
I had to go back to the front desk, to the hotel and get more $1 bills.

00:22:52:04 – 00:22:52:12
Nathan Crane
Borrow.

00:22:52:12 – 00:22:53:16
Marci Shimoff
Money. The four day program.

00:22:53:16 – 00:22:53:17
Nathan Crane
To.

00:22:54:09 – 00:23:15:22
Marci Shimoff
Borrow money. By the third day I was down to four and by the last day I was down to one. So I just suggest that people do a game if you play it with your family or your coworkers, you know, just for a week and note. And then at the end of the week you donate the money somewhere, so you make it a fun game.

00:23:16:02 – 00:23:29:14
Nathan Crane
I love that idea. That’s something a family could do or a couple can do at home. And it can be, yeah, over the course of a week it’s like, hey. And then and then let’s see. Like you make a little friendly competition. Let’s see who’s got, you know, the most money at the end of, you know, Sunday night.

00:23:29:22 – 00:23:37:20
Nathan Crane
And and you turn it into an awareness game like that’s that’s brilliant. Actually, I’m going to do that. You know.

00:23:38:05 – 00:23:57:16
Marci Shimoff
It’s so in insidious the habit of so insidious. And then when you do find yourself doing it, the first thing you do is you do the first thing you don’t do is blame or shame yourself for doing it. Oh, my God. There I am again. Doing it again. But then you got to put another dollar.

00:23:57:17 – 00:24:01:03
Nathan Crane
Dollar for real. Question.

00:24:02:03 – 00:24:21:06
Marci Shimoff
Exactly. It gets you out of the habit of blaming yourself. Instead, what you do is you go, Wow, that was cool. I noticed that. So you start to create a habit of celebrating your successes rather than you know, berating yourself.

00:24:21:15 – 00:24:41:18
Nathan Crane
And I think a part of I think a part of that if you’re going to do that game, an important rule that everybody agrees to is just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count. Right? So if like honest 1% self honesty would be really important because someone might be good at like not saying it out loud.

00:24:41:18 – 00:24:51:13
Nathan Crane
We know people internalize things a lot, but if you say it internally, then you have to be honest with yourself and say, nope, I did it again, let’s put a dollar in. Right?

00:24:51:18 – 00:25:14:11
Marci Shimoff
That’s a higher level of a game. You might want to start with 51, but if you’re doing it that way, that’s a great idea though. Yeah, it’s just we you know, we aren’t to blame ourselves for all of this. These are old habits that were established when we were very young. And it’s it’s I just say honor yourself for recognizing it.

00:25:14:11 – 00:25:19:11
Marci Shimoff
And that is recognizing it is taking responsible for your life.

00:25:19:17 – 00:25:37:20
Nathan Crane
What do you say to someone that says, let’s say to complain about things or blame or shame or in your case, God, it’s so cold in here. I get. Why is it so call in your jacket or something. Right where you and I would say that’s complaining. But if somebody else said, well, it’s not complaining, it’s just the truth, what would you say?

00:25:38:04 – 00:26:03:10
Marci Shimoff
So, okay, that’s a great idea. That’s I mean, it’s a great question. It is the truth, the energy in which you are holding it is the complaint or not. So it’s one thing to go up to someone and say, you know, it’s really cold in this room and I’m hoping you can help fix that. That is not a complaint, but that is a statement of fact with an action step around how to fix it.

00:26:03:10 – 00:26:21:02
Marci Shimoff
And even if you, you know, wow, it’s really cold in here. Do you know who I can speak with to fix that? So it’s not blaming anybody. It’s making a statement of fact. It’s cold in here. It doesn’t carry that same energy. Oh, my God. It’s so cold in here. I wish they turn up the heat of freezing.

00:26:21:19 – 00:26:40:23
Marci Shimoff
Totally different energy. And as you well know, everything is energy. It’s all the energy that we’re carrying. And so that’s that’s where we need to get very honest, is what energy are we carrying with with with what we’re holding and how we’re speaking? You know, it’s so often people say, it’s not what you said, it’s how you said it.

00:26:41:02 – 00:26:43:03
Marci Shimoff
Yeah, it’s what energy saying.

00:26:43:14 – 00:27:10:15
Nathan Crane
And that’s so true. And it’s, you know, I’m guilty of it from time to time as well. And when I tell people who tell me that same thing, well, it’s just the truth. I’m like, Yeah, but it’s, it’s one thing to state the truth, let’s say from a neutral perspective, because that’s the truth. It’s a totally different thing when you put all this heavy negative energy into it, because now you are not only creating that environment for yourself, but for the people around you.

00:27:10:22 – 00:27:29:22
Nathan Crane
It’s totally different. Like I say, you know what is so freaking cold in here is terrible. What’s wrong with these people like that? Energy is not good for you and it’s not good for the people around you. And we know it actually is not good for your immune system. It’s not good for you, for your cellular health. It’s you know, it starts into the sympathetic nervous system response.

00:27:29:22 – 00:27:41:17
Nathan Crane
You start to get some cortisol releasing like you might even get a little bit of adrenaline going, which is not good when you’re doing it so often when you’re so stressed out all the time versus, yeah, it’s a little cold in here. I wonder if I.

00:27:41:19 – 00:27:42:03
Marci Shimoff
Yeah.

00:27:42:09 – 00:27:54:04
Nathan Crane
If I can find a sweater or maybe I can find someone to help turn it down. Right. It’s like two totally different approach, but it makes a world of difference. Those two new that little nuances like super important. I’m glad you I love.

00:27:54:06 – 00:28:14:20
Marci Shimoff
Thank you for asking that. So all right. So let me go through all seven areas and then come back and pick up on one of them. If that’s okay, I’m going to open her grave of mine. I know there’s a couple I want to pick up on with you, because I think that that that everyone listening in would really I have some, some interesting things to share that they may not have heard.

00:28:15:09 – 00:28:36:15
Marci Shimoff
So. So the foundation is taking responsibility for your life and your happiness. Then there are the four corner pillars and I’ll just go through them briefly. The first pillar is the pillar of the mind. Our thoughts, you know, do your thoughts drag you down? The second is the pillar of the heart. I have never met a happy person who had a closed heart.

00:28:37:02 – 00:29:01:02
Marci Shimoff
So do you have an open heart? Gratitude, loving kindness, generosity, forgiveness. Then there’s the pillar of the body, which you spent such a wonderful time with such expertize. Pillar of the body is Do you have the biochemistry of happiness? Do you have the endorphins? Do you have the serotonin? Do you have the oxytocin? Do you have the dopamine?

00:29:01:10 – 00:29:27:20
Marci Shimoff
Right. And we’ll come back and talk more about that as well. And then there’s the pillar of the soul. The soul is how connected do you feel to the greater energy of the universe. And I don’t care what you call it, whether you call it God or the divine or creative intelligence or nature or whatever, it’s do you feel that you are part of this greater energetic, full of life?

00:29:29:04 – 00:29:50:16
Marci Shimoff
Then there is the roof of your home for happiness and the roof is your life purpose. Are you living an inspired life? Do you wake up in the morning saying, Yes, I am doing what I am here on the planet right now to be doing. And then finally there is the garden, and the garden is who are you surrounded by?

00:29:51:04 – 00:30:15:08
Marci Shimoff
Are you surrounded by roses and gardenias? Those beautiful people that lift and inspire you? Or are you surrounded by some weeds, you know, some of the bummers of people that drag you down that might be choking out your happiness. So those are the seven areas I’m just going to review. The foundation taking responsibility for your happiness in your life.

00:30:16:06 – 00:30:40:05
Marci Shimoff
Pillar of the mind. Pillar of the heart, pillar of body, pillar of the soul. Your roof is your life purpose and your garden is your relationships and who you surround yourself with. So I will start by saying that my Achilles heel has always been, and usually your Achilles heel, where you’re the weakest, is going to always be where you are.

00:30:40:05 – 00:31:08:23
Marci Shimoff
The weakest where you’re going to come back to when you start to slip. So mine was always the body. I did not have the biochemistry of happiness. My mother had low grade depression. I believe I had low grade depression. I did not have enough serotonin. And once, once I really started dressing that my whole happiness shifted. And that’s the one when I start to feel a little bit and that’s the one I go back to first, because I know that’s my Achilles heel.

00:31:09:15 – 00:31:13:04
Marci Shimoff
So what about you, Nathan?

00:31:13:04 – 00:31:43:14
Nathan Crane
You know, I want to say that every one of these I have put a tremendous amount of effort into over the last almost two decades now from literally, you know, thousands and thousands of hours of meditation, of nutrition, of research, of experimentation, of saunas, of ice baths, of, you know, chanting with Hari Krishna’s and sweat lodges with Native Americans and sitting and meditating for hours and hours with Zen master Buddhist monks and you name it.

00:31:43:14 – 00:31:55:05
Nathan Crane
Right. And I will continue all of that till the day I die and, you know, 20, almost 20 years on this path. And I still don’t have I’m still not perfect in any one of these I’ve made.

00:31:55:05 – 00:31:56:11
Marci Shimoff
I don’t know anyone who is.

00:31:57:04 – 00:32:23:13
Nathan Crane
I’ve made tremendous progress in every area, like substantial. And it’s so funny because I can look back and this is the interesting time of our current day is so many videos and so many photos of ourselves. I can look back at videos of myself. Five years ago, seven years ago, ten years ago, and see such massive transformation in, in everything about myself, right?

00:32:23:13 – 00:32:46:03
Nathan Crane
My outlook on life and how we communicate and, you know, my own positive mental attitude and all of that. So that is a really interesting time of our current. I think we have a lot of challenges with technology, this whole AI movement and robots and transhumanism I am super scared about and think it is a dangerous road we are crossing.

00:32:47:04 – 00:33:05:03
Nathan Crane
And at the same time, you know, technology like this allows us to communicate and share this with people all over the world and more people are getting online every single day. And so there are obviously a lot of positive benefits to it as well. And we can track our lives, you know, over years and be like, wow, look at the massive progress I’ve made in five or seven years.

00:33:05:11 – 00:33:47:11
Nathan Crane
I will say that if you commit to your own personal development, your own health, your own spiritual development every day, you’re doing something, every day you’re reading, you’re meditating, you’re exercising, you’re learning, you’re improving, you’re never set. Like this is the absolute way, the only way forever. But you’re like, you know, I’ve been into plant based diet and lifestyle for 14 years and I’m still reading books and learning from carnivore doctors and keto people and all these things because it’s like even though all the evidence and research that I’ve discovered and I’ve seen it myself in the literally thousands of cancer patients that, you know, we’ve heard from and talked to, it’s like plant based

00:33:47:11 – 00:34:13:18
Nathan Crane
is the way to go. And yet I’m still open to, you know, what is going on out there. What are other people saying? And because it’s I’m always trying to learn. I just wanted to preface. I was saying I’m definitely not perfect in any one of these areas, but I think the weakest is probably is probably the one we talked a little bit about, which is the the foundation, but it’s really weird, right?

00:34:13:18 – 00:34:37:12
Nathan Crane
Taking responsibility for your own life and your happiness like 100%. Yes. And I have that really strong foundation. But with basically, like one person in my life, I, you know, find myself blaming, shaming, complaining with nobody else. And it’s not their fault. I’m not there’s definitely not them like it’s me. This is a meeting, right? I 100% accept that.

00:34:37:17 – 00:35:00:17
Nathan Crane
100% working on it, you know, talking to therapists about it, doing meditations on it, reading books like everything I can. I don’t feel like I 100% have the responsibility, but it still happens. Like it’s still so embedded in my subconscious conscious mind that it still comes up, even though I’m working on it constantly. It’s crazy.

00:35:00:17 – 00:35:42:04
Marci Shimoff
Yeah, I know. People can one, one, one relationship can be that that one trigger that person that that and there are gift that’s that’s the gift of that person to help you become whatever non-reactive heal whatever that is that needs healing so well. Good for you. I mean, you know, it’s obvious you take responsibility for your and your happiness because look at all the things that you’ve done and you continue to do and, you know, just putting yourself in this arena and talking day and day out to people who are all about living their best life, you can’t help it.

00:35:42:05 – 00:35:48:03
Marci Shimoff
So it’s I think you’re a plus. You get an A-plus.

00:35:48:03 – 00:35:54:19
Nathan Crane
Like I appreciate my teachers in high school would have given me a D-minus or an F, but, you know, I’ll I’ll accept your A-plus. Thank you.

00:35:54:19 – 00:35:56:10
Marci Shimoff
And yeah.

00:35:56:19 – 00:36:16:14
Nathan Crane
So the one I want to talk to you more about, at least right now, is the roof life purpose. And I was talking with a good friend yesterday, a business partner and a good friend of mine. And, you know, this has been something that has changed my life over the years, is really discovering and evolving my life purpose.

00:36:16:14 – 00:36:42:09
Nathan Crane
And I think I’m so blessed and every day I’m so grateful that I get to do what I love, that I do the work that I love and that I consciously choose to do that. And when I’m doing something that I don’t love, I actually consciously choose to stop doing that. Sometimes it takes me longer than maybe I would like it to, but I eventually stop that thing and go all in on the thing that I love and I’m making those transformations ongoing over the years.

00:36:42:19 – 00:37:04:11
Nathan Crane
But I think I really started doing that probably, you know, 15 years ago at a really scary time when I had no money and no, you know, no like support and on my own and a new child coming, you know, I could barely pay the bills. And yet I was opening this spiritual online personal development community for free.

00:37:04:17 – 00:37:31:06
Nathan Crane
No idea how to run a business. No idea to do anything, but was like, This is what I need to do. This is what my heart’s telling me to do. So I’m going to do it. And I’ve really gone all in on my life purpose ever since. And so for me it’s been a game changer. And I want that for everybody, everybody who’s interested, everybody who wants that deep fulfillment in their life, everybody who wants to wake up in the morning and have energy and feel excited about actually going to work or doing the work.

00:37:31:06 – 00:37:54:13
Nathan Crane
They love everybody who is like, you know what, I’m depressed, anxious. I don’t like the job I’m at. I feel a sense of purpose, less ness in my life. I would like to be happy. I would like to have some kind of contribution. I would like to have a sense of fulfillment in my life. I want every single person to be able to and people close to me as well to be able to find that deeper purpose for themselves.

00:37:54:13 – 00:38:16:00
Nathan Crane
Because when you do, it is so game changing and so life changing. And yet I’m not an expert, even though I found it for myself. I’m not an expert in like teaching others how to find it. And so how can people so asking the expert on how can people really find their life purpose, their deeper purpose in life?

00:38:16:00 – 00:38:39:03
Marci Shimoff
So there’s a couple of answers to this, a couple of ways I want to answer this. And I think that we don’t I think we have two types of life purpose, two aspects to our life purpose. I believe the one ultimate life purpose that we are all on the planet for that we have all incarnated for is waking up to the truth of who we are.

00:38:40:00 – 00:39:06:05
Marci Shimoff
Some people call it awakening or enlightenment, whatever. I think that, you know, waking up to love, some would say that it’s about recognizing the and living in the energy of love, giving and receiving love that that they say that at the end of our lives, people have had near-death experiences. We have a final exam at the end of our life, and we’re asked two questions.

00:39:07:01 – 00:39:35:14
Marci Shimoff
The first is how much did you grow in your capacity to love? And the other is how much did you learn your life lessons or live your life destiny, your life’s purpose? And so the love, the growing in who I am, the Enlightenment, the awakening is everybody universal life purpose. Then there’s a secondary life purpose, which is What’s my destiny or what’s my dharma, the Sanskrit word for life purpose.

00:39:36:13 – 00:39:59:10
Marci Shimoff
And I believe that changes throughout a lifetime. So it’s not the same. I never in a million years thought that I would write books. Who knew that that was what I was supposed to do? And but the made the point that I’m here for was inspiring people. I saw Zig Ziglar speak when I was 13 years old. I said, That’s what I’m supposed to do, is I’m supposed to inspire people and it takes different forms.

00:39:59:18 – 00:40:24:02
Marci Shimoff
And I think that we can’t get attached to the form that it takes. And I’ll give you a great example of this. My father my father was a dentist and he loved being a dentist. He taught me to do what I love. He loved being a dentist. And when he retired at 72, we were all a little worried because we knew about the research on what happens to people when they retire.

00:40:24:14 – 00:40:49:17
Marci Shimoff
They lose their sense of meaning or purpose and they get sick and they die not because they’re older, but because they don’t have that that purpose. Inspiration. Well, my dad said that’s not going to happen to me. So he analyzed what he loved about being a dentist, and he realized that what he loved about being a dentist was working with his hands in intricate ways and being artistic.

00:40:50:05 – 00:41:19:18
Marci Shimoff
Those were the qualities that he loved. He thought the dental work was artwork. I actually go to dentists now that they look at my work and I thought, My God, who did that? That is so artistic. So, so anyway, at age 72, my dad took up his second, quote, profession, needlepoint. He became a master needle pointer. And I remember when he was 85, I went home to visit one day and he was working on his newest needlepoint.

00:41:19:18 – 00:41:39:13
Marci Shimoff
It was huge, wide. That high was intricate. I said, Dad, how long is this going to take you to complete? And he said, Well, honey, I figure at the rate that I’m currently going, it’s going to take me four years. This was an 85 year old man starting a four year project. Did he finish it? Absolutely he did.

00:41:39:13 – 00:41:53:02
Marci Shimoff
And it hung proudly in there in our living room until my mother passed away. And it hangs now proudly in my living room and you’re looking for a picture.

00:41:53:22 – 00:42:12:16
Nathan Crane
That’s a beautiful story. Yeah. Thank you for sharing. So people who are watching this, you can see what needlepoint. If you don’t know, I actually my great grandma taught me to do a needlepoint thing, kind of like a turtle. But it wasn’t this intricate. It was more simple when I was like probably like ten years old or something.

00:42:12:16 – 00:42:22:08
Nathan Crane
I did one with her. She was she was really, really good at it. She did this needlepoint all the time. Anyway, I just wanted to look at it because that just.

00:42:22:09 – 00:42:26:10
Marci Shimoff
Oh, I was trying and I tried to find the picture of my dad and his needlepoint.

00:42:26:16 – 00:42:48:15
Nathan Crane
Oh, that’d be cool. Yeah. No, but my. What a great point. It’s, you know, 72 years old and still figuring out, okay, what is it that’s going to bring me some sense of fulfillment, some sense of joy, some sense of happiness not just to buy my time in a mundane way, but something I really enjoy. And so and so I’d say a takeaway there for people who are trying to find a purpose.

00:42:48:15 – 00:43:07:00
Nathan Crane
Purpose, one could definitely be analyze anything you currently do in your life that you really enjoy, right? Something that brings you joy. Analyze what that is. What is it something that you enjoy doing and why do you enjoy doing it? So ask that question What do I enjoy doing and why do I enjoy doing? What is it about it?

00:43:07:00 – 00:43:26:13
Nathan Crane
That brings me a sense, joy right? Because the more that we have joy in our lives, the happier we are and the more we want to do that thing. And joy is an game and it’s different to everybody, right? I could do needlepoint now and it would probably bring me zero joy, but for your father.

00:43:26:13 – 00:43:28:08
Marci Shimoff
Would bring me less than zero joy.

00:43:29:12 – 00:44:01:08
Nathan Crane
Yeah, I’m. You know, this is too boring. No, not my thing. But for your father, it’s like he could spend hours and hours and years doing it and loves it. And so it’s bringing him massive. Joyous is different for everybody. But I’d say a big takeaway there is figure out in your life what’s bringing you joy. And also, I would always resort back to what Siddharth IGUDESMAN said, which was whatever, do whatever you want in life, as long as it doesn’t hurt yourself or hurt others, right?

00:44:01:17 – 00:44:15:15
Nathan Crane
Some people get some sick joy out and I wouldn’t call that joy, you know, let’s call that false. False. Yes, right. Of doing things that are not good for others. But I don’t think our audience are any of those people. So the things that bring you true joy.

00:44:16:15 – 00:44:45:09
Marci Shimoff
And and I love that you said this. I have a question that I suggest people ask themselves, and that is what makes you come alive? What makes your heart sing and make a list of ten things that make you come alive? You know, I love inspiring people. I love telling stories. I love you know, I love being in nature.

00:44:45:09 – 00:45:05:19
Marci Shimoff
I love dancing. But in terms of of the work that you do, if you’re looking for for work, what what do you love? What do ten things that make you come alive? There’s a beautiful Howard Thurman quote that goes like this. It says this, if I can remember it. He says, Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive.

00:45:06:01 – 00:45:41:04
Marci Shimoff
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. And so ask yourself, what makes you come alive and do it now, not a year ago, because it will change. And then there’s a second piece to this about about living our purpose, and that is called the Sacred No, being able to say the sacred. No. Warren Buffett was once asked, Why are you so crazy successful?

00:45:42:00 – 00:46:11:21
Marci Shimoff
And he said, That’s very simple to answer. It’s because I say no to 99.9, 99% of opportunities that come my way. And it’s so that there’s the spaciousness to say yes. And I’ll give you another an example of this in my own life, because I think it also takes courage. It takes courage and faith to to do the sacred no, because the sacred no creates the space for the sacred.

00:46:11:21 – 00:46:39:21
Marci Shimoff
Yes. And So let’s see. 11 years ago, 2013, I was taking a course with one of my dear friends and mentors, Lynn Twist. Lynn Twist wrote a book called The Soul of Money, and I was taking this nine month program with her. She no longer, I don’t think, does that program anymore. But and during it, I made a commitment to not do work that I didn’t like.

00:46:40:14 – 00:47:03:05
Marci Shimoff
And I had a coach that I was working with and. I, I made that commitment to my coach and she was fully supporting me. And wouldn’t, you know, a week after I’d made that commitment out of the blue, I got an offer to from an old client of mine to go speak in China a number of times over the following two years.

00:47:03:05 – 00:47:26:10
Marci Shimoff
It was a half a million dollar offer. It was a great offer. There was just one problem. I hated that kind of travel. And and teaching in China wasn’t my thing. It wasn’t my my vibe. It didn’t make me happy. So here I had this bind. I had this half a million dollar offer. And I had just committed to my coach that I wasn’t going to do work that I hated.

00:47:26:20 – 00:47:51:00
Marci Shimoff
And I ended up turning it down, not having any idea what was going to take the place of that. Well, a couple of days after I said no, I was in my kitchen making lunch with my assistant at the time, Kim, and she came in and she said, Do you know so-and-so is doing this mentoring program? And a light bulb went off in my head and I said, Oh my God, mentoring.

00:47:51:00 – 00:48:11:22
Marci Shimoff
That’s what I’m supposed to do. And we sat over lunch and and I said, What should I mentor people in? And then I said, You know, I am living a miraculous life like like miracles are happening. People are showing up out of the blue with opportunities. And then, like everywhere I turn, it’s like life is in the flow.

00:48:12:06 – 00:48:38:02
Marci Shimoff
And I think I know how to get there. I could mentor people and living a miraculous life. And I thought, okay, I’ll mentor eight women. And it was this high end program. And I thought, Oh, what if nobody applies? I had 1100 people apply to this little program for eight people, and it was the beginning. I then ended up doing a low price program for the masses and is now and I it’s 11 years later.

00:48:38:02 – 00:49:10:17
Marci Shimoff
It’s called Your Year of Miracles. I’ve had 30,000 people through that yearlong program of living a miraculous life, and people are having more miracles than I ever imagined they would have. It it all came out of having the courage and knowing, first of all, what it is, those things to me and doesn’t seem to me. And then having the courage to say no, and I’m going to add to that, having the support system around me of people who believed in me to be able to say no, and then so that I could say yes to the right thing.

00:49:10:23 – 00:49:30:03
Marci Shimoff
So that’s really it’s really three things right there. It’s listening to yourself and knowing what makes your heart sing. It’s having the courage and the faith to step out and it’s having the support system around you to encourage you to to follow your heart, to listen to the soul and honor that.

00:49:33:09 – 00:49:53:09
Nathan Crane
It’s so powerful. And the fact that you’re able to say no to something that would have taken a lot of time and energy from your thinking and focus. Right. Okay. Now, I got this presentation I got to prepare for. We’ve got travel. We got a couple of years of this. So your mind would have been focused on this thing that, yeah, paid good money and yeah, it’s something you enjoy doing, speaking and teaching.

00:49:53:16 – 00:50:14:06
Nathan Crane
But that particular form wasn’t your favorite thing to do. Didn’t enjoy it that much, right? So your mind and energy and attention would have been focused on that and it would not be very fulfilling, which you’re saying now allowed the universe, your soul, your mind, emotions to basically and the opportunity for you to be with that friend and the mentoring to go.

00:50:14:07 – 00:50:33:20
Nathan Crane
That’s what I’m supposed to be doing. And then I would say So like that, super important. And then the other takeaway I see there too is when you get that download, when you get that inspiration, when you get that aha moment, you know what? That’s I think that’s what I need to do oftentimes is a little bit of fear that comes with that too.

00:50:34:00 – 00:50:56:07
Nathan Crane
And for me, that little bit of fear, the excitement and the fear is a really good sign. I’m on the right track. I think the fear that little bit of fear is probably the biggest inhibitor for most people to actually step into their purpose, to actually follow their dreams, to actually find the true fulfillment and purpose in their life.

00:50:56:14 – 00:51:17:01
Nathan Crane
Because the excitement is there and the excitement is there to move us forward because our soul, God knows what is best for us in our life. And it’s it’s pushing it is pulling us forward. It’s like, that’s exciting. That’s what I should be doing. And then the mind, the logical mind, the subconscious mind, the past behaviors, beliefs, systems, habits.

00:51:17:13 – 00:51:30:13
Nathan Crane
Oh, but what if. What if I’m a failure? What if nobody applies? What if, what if, what if? And then people never step into that next chapter of their life. That could be miraculous just as you talked about.

00:51:31:13 – 00:51:45:23
Marci Shimoff
I so agree with you about this. And I you know, a dear friend of mine, Lisa Nichols, who actually co teaches with me in the Year of Miracles. She was in the secret. She’s an amazing Lisa’s amazing.

00:51:45:23 – 00:51:50:06
Nathan Crane
Lisa’s really amazing. Yeah. I’ve had a few interviews with her over the years. She’s incredible. Yeah.

00:51:50:09 – 00:52:10:02
Marci Shimoff
Is incredible. And she says if you’re not a little afraid, you’re not dreaming big enough. So it’s just what you said if you’re not, you know, that fear is an indicator and people use it as their excuse to not do it. And the only difference is that people don’t wait till the time when you don’t feel the fear.

00:52:10:16 – 00:52:30:15
Marci Shimoff
You go, Wow, cool, that’s a little scary and I can do it. And you surround yourself with the people that prove to you you can. And you remember the times in your life when you’ve done things that were new and scary and you turned out okay. You remember the time in your life when you did things that were new and scary and didn’t turn out okay, but you’re still okay.

00:52:31:06 – 00:52:54:15
Marci Shimoff
So, you know, it’s it’s ultimately it’s having trust in the universe and trust in yourself. You know, Einstein said that the most important question you can ask yourself is, is this a loving universe? Is this a benevolent universe? And happy people will always answer yes to that. Whether or not their circumstances are the way they think they should be.

00:52:54:23 – 00:53:10:13
Marci Shimoff
They feel like the universe is handing them things that that are for their best sake. You know, if things don’t go right, if you get rejections, there’s a phrase that I love. One of my favorite phrases, rejection is God’s protection.

00:53:10:23 – 00:53:11:10
Nathan Crane
Mhm.

00:53:11:22 – 00:53:44:05
Marci Shimoff
Oh okay. That didn’t work out. Rejection is God’s protection. That means there’s another way, there’s something else that’s going to work out. Instead, I can’t tell you how many relationships I’ve had that when I look back I feel, thank God I’m not with them. You know, rejection was God’s protection as awesome. It’s really it’s really about stepping through the fear, leaning into trusting in the universe that life is for you, that if things don’t happen, they weren’t supposed to, that life is really in their favor.

00:53:45:08 – 00:54:02:14
Nathan Crane
And and 200 cent agree and to add to that is to keep going forward. Right like sometimes we get rejected. So again it’s like I see so many I see both sides of this because I work with so many people over the years and my own life, you know, is a testament to all these things. It’s like, Yeah, I’m excited.

00:54:02:14 – 00:54:29:23
Nathan Crane
I’m going for this thing, you know, get rejected, okay, that’s not for me. And then they give up. It’s like, well, no, that was the universe testing you a little bit, right? To see if you really want it. Like, that’s how I see it. It’s like I make that commitment. I’m going on a 14 day juice fast. Oh, literally three days in, we get invited to some parties, some potluck, and then my wife decides to make the most amazing, delicious, you know, Mexican tamales or something.

00:54:29:23 – 00:54:49:08
Nathan Crane
I haven’t eaten in, like, two years, like my favorite meal or whatever. And I’m like, never. I haven’t had this in two years. The only time I’m going to get to eat it is right now, right? The brain that everything freaks out. And then it’s like, Yeah, but you made a commitment to yourself. You’re doing this for two weeks for all these reasons, and you’re getting tested, you’re getting tested, you’re getting tested.

00:54:49:08 – 00:55:14:10
Nathan Crane
And we get tested all the time. Like we get support and then we get tested. So I believe anyway, it’s what I see. We get support. Yeah. If we pass that test, it’s like you go further and more doors open and you get another level of support. People show up like if you have and what I teach people all the time, I work with a lot of cancer patients, but I work with a lot of people dealing with all kinds of health issues, mental, emotional challenges, you name it.

00:55:14:10 – 00:55:31:08
Nathan Crane
And one of the things I teach people is what I call the solution oriented mindset, which is you have to ask good questions. And if you ask the right questions, you ask good questions, you will get good answers. And if you have that solution oriented mindset, you go, okay, here’s a challenge, here’s a barrier, here’s a door. But I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing.

00:55:31:08 – 00:55:47:10
Nathan Crane
This feels right in my heart. And then all you have to do is ask the right questions. Okay, so what am I supposed to do? Who? Who can I call? What do I need to learn? What books should I read? God, Universe, please show me my higher self Show me what I need to do Who do I need to talk to?

00:55:47:10 – 00:56:06:24
Nathan Crane
What do I need to read? What education do I need to get past this challenge? And believe it or not, very quickly and oftentimes, almost immediately, someone shows up, something shows up, an ad pops in your freaking Instagram, a book shows up, your phone call, whatever, if you’re focused on the solution instead of the problem, my right.

00:56:08:14 – 00:56:34:17
Marci Shimoff
As so right. And you know, I famous story but I’ll just share it again if I think a lot of people might not averted the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson sent their proposal for Chicken Soup for the Soul, or maybe the whole book. I’m not sure. Probably the proposal to the top 35 New York publishers at that soup back in the nineties when there were 35 New York publishers.

00:56:34:18 – 00:57:04:17
Marci Shimoff
Now there’s probably five, but, you know, and they got rejection letters from all of them. And they did not let that stop. The most people at that point would have given up, but they said, no, we believe in this. And they actually took manuscripts in their backpacks to the booksellers convention and they handed it out. I think they counted 144 publishers received that manuscript in some form or another, 143 turned them down one small, almost at the time.

00:57:04:17 – 00:57:32:22
Marci Shimoff
Bankrupt publisher said, okay, well, take a chance on this and the rest is history. They sold 5 million copies, literally around the world. Now, most people would have given up. So it’s really about listening inside side to the voice of your of the soul that says this is meant to be rather than the voice of the ego or the the personality, the voice of fear.

00:57:33:17 – 00:57:46:20
Marci Shimoff
It’s really about who you like. What what are you aligning with? Are you aligning with your ego fearful, protective personality, or are you aligning with that part of you that the higher self, the soulful self?

00:57:47:14 – 00:58:11:04
Nathan Crane
Yeah, it’s beautiful. I want to transition and ask you about the garden, who you’re surrounded by. And you said, are you surrounded by roses and beautiful gardenias? You know, people who uplift you and inspire you? Or are you surrounded by weeds? You know, people dragging you down, choking out your happiness? I mean, what a powerful metaphor, by the way.

00:58:11:04 – 00:58:35:01
Nathan Crane
And yet this is really complicated because far too often we have somebody or a group of people in our lives that we care deeply about that maybe are bringing us down. And we either don’t want to recognize it, we don’t fully accept it, maybe we don’t fully notice it. And you know what is and maybe you love them very much.

00:58:35:01 – 00:59:07:02
Nathan Crane
Maybe their family, maybe their friends, maybe their business partners, whatever. And you kind of see past that for the greater good, right? The greater good of your family, the greater good of the business. You run, whatever it is. So what would you suggest to people who are really recognizing as Napoleon Hill did? You know long ago that, you know, we need a mastermind group of people who we look up to, that we talk to, that we connect with, that we learn from, that we share ideas with who are headed in the same direction that we are.

00:59:07:02 – 00:59:29:07
Nathan Crane
If we do that, if we surround ourselves with people who have similar ambitions or are already successful in what we’re trying to achieve in our lives, they’re already happier, already doing wonderful things. We surround ourselves with more of those people. We will improve ourselves and become more like those people and vice versa. We’re surrounded negative people who bring us down, who are toxic, you know, all the time.

00:59:29:14 – 00:59:35:13
Nathan Crane
No matter how conscious and positive and spiritual we are. It’s very possible that going to bring you down with them.

00:59:36:14 – 01:00:01:19
Marci Shimoff
Yeah. So I think there are three things to do when you’re faced with this situation of negative people. This is assuming that you’ve already decided that they’re going to stay in your life. I mean, the obvious thing to do is, is move on if you can. And obviously, if it’s family, you’re not going to do that. So so assuming that they’re friends or family that you want to keep in your life, there’s three things.

01:00:01:19 – 01:00:27:13
Marci Shimoff
The first one you’ve just mentioned and that is you surround yourself with other people who will who are aligned with your where you want to go, who will carry that energy, that of believing in you and of you believing in you. And so that you it counteracts the negative people. That’s number one. Number Two, you build up your own emotional immunity.

01:00:28:09 – 01:00:52:23
Marci Shimoff
You know, if you’re going to be around people who have a cold, what do you do to not about the cold? You build your physical immunity. It’s the same way. If you’ve got negative people around you, you build your emotional immune system. You you become happy, happier. The happier you become, the more their energy is, like, just hits up against you and bounces back off.

01:00:52:23 – 01:01:13:08
Marci Shimoff
I remember I was once I’ve gotten to meet with His Holiness the Dalai Lama a few times in small groups, and one time we were in a group, there were maybe 20 people and he and there was this one really negative guy in the group in the room, and we were thinking, Oh my God, how is this going to go over?

01:01:13:08 – 01:01:47:11
Marci Shimoff
This guy is so negative. The Dalai Lama walks in and his energy is so contagious, he’s just beaming. You cannot help but pick it up. And his energy was so strong that the negative guy completely flipped. I mean, he just totally turned around and said, you know, the stronger energy wins. So you become so strong that you are the one for whom they are catching the emotions of their catching your emotions rather than you catching their emotions.

01:01:47:16 – 01:01:55:03
Nathan Crane
And that goes back to number one, which is taking responsibility for your life and happiness and not blaming them for how you feel.

01:01:55:20 – 01:02:16:23
Marci Shimoff
That’s right. That’s right there. It’s water off a duck’s back. It’s not going to affect you. It’s going to bounce off of you. It’s you recognize that’s their stuff and it doesn’t trigger you. The only reason anything they do can trigger you is because you already have the trigger inside. They’re not doing it. You’ve got it inside. I actually work with a woman.

01:02:17:06 – 01:02:46:05
Marci Shimoff
Her name is Polly PR Ally and she’s probably the most awake westerner I’ve ever met. She’s 85, and she. She’s almost blind from macular degeneration. And she had. Wake up, Tru, wake up to who she really is when she was 70 and I and she can’t find any. And since then her her her health totally turned around and she people can’t push her buttons.

01:02:46:05 – 01:03:06:10
Marci Shimoff
Nothing does. She says, I’m open to it. It’s just never happened yet. And I’ve been around her a lot. And there’s just not a person there that has a reactivity. So recognize if something is hitting up against you. It’s our own reactivity, you know, that’s that’s our own situation that we get to deal with. Oh, why is that person why are my buttons getting pushed here?

01:03:06:10 – 01:03:26:01
Marci Shimoff
Those are my buttons. But the third thing I’m going to say, you know, in the meantime, when you when we are in that state that Polly is in, in the meantime, boundaries, we just create boundaries. You know, if somebody is being really negative around you, you say, you know what, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I understand.

01:03:26:01 – 01:03:47:12
Marci Shimoff
And I can listen for about 5 minutes and then that’s all I can do. If you want to just sit and complain to me, I’ve got a three minute limit or a five minute limit and you train people what will work for you. And if you think that’s terrible, that’s selfish. I have a belief that when you do what’s right for you, it’s right for everyone.

01:03:48:13 – 01:04:12:15
Marci Shimoff
When you honestly do what is right for you in your own, you know, truly alignment, it is right for everybody. It might not look that way, you know, saying no to somebody or creating boundary with somebody, they go, But that’s so mean. No, it’s exactly what they needed. We can’t know what they need. We just only know what it is we need.

01:04:12:15 – 01:04:36:21
Nathan Crane
It’s so true. I want to go back to the triggers. You mentioned triggers and a lot of if not all of our reactions is to the people in situations in our life. Negative reactions are they basically come from triggers, right? They come from subconscious programing. They very often come from our childhood. They come from childhood adverse events. They come from, you know, the aces in our life.

01:04:36:21 – 01:05:04:02
Nathan Crane
They come from traumas. And PTSD is really well researched, really well studied. I done tremendous amount of research and education on this because it’s it affects our physiology, not just our mental and emotional well-being, which is huge, but it literally affects our physiology and down regulates our immune system, causes chronic inflammation. You know, Dr. Can, as per the wonderful research on this years ago and showing neuropeptides I know you know her work I’m sure and later those neuropeptides because I knew her.

01:05:04:07 – 01:05:06:11
Marci Shimoff
I knew her. She was a wild one. Yeah.

01:05:06:15 – 01:05:30:09
Nathan Crane
She was amazing and revolutionary and cutting edge and discovered literally when we go through these traumas, these PTSD, these traumatic experiences, childhood adverse events, we release neuropeptides. Those neuropeptides get stuck in, lodged in tissues and organs and they are chemo attractants. If we don’t have the wherewithal, the forgiveness practices, the emotional healing practices, spiritual practices to release those neuropeptides.

01:05:30:09 – 01:05:53:05
Nathan Crane
And very often when we’re young, we don’t know. And even as adults, most adults don’t know how to deal with, you know, emotional trauma. And we store them. They get large, they cause chronic inflammation. They’re chemo attractants. They literally attract cancer cells to them. And if we don’t release them and do the emotional healing they literally can cause disease in the body.

01:05:53:19 – 01:06:08:11
Nathan Crane
And it’s essential we do the emotional healing. But it’s one thing to say, yeah, I recognize my triggers. That’s why I’m blaming and shaming and complaining. It’s a whole other thing to get to the root of that trigger and actually heal it. Do you have any suggestions there for people?

01:06:08:22 – 01:06:35:19
Marci Shimoff
Yeah. So my experience is that different tools work for different people at different times. And my suggestion is build up your toolbox and you’ll know what technology to use at that time. So for me, I have a number of things I go to. One of them is tapping, EFT, tapping, you know, another is the work of firing Katie, the four questions.

01:06:36:00 – 01:06:47:07
Marci Shimoff
Another is there’s a wonderful work, the six steps to Freedom. I can’t remember the guy’s name, Derek Mahon, Diedrich Diedrich something.

01:06:47:24 – 01:06:53:07
Nathan Crane
His sense of freedom I heard. Oh, Diedrich was sock Diedrich was Diedrich.

01:06:53:07 – 01:06:54:10
Marci Shimoff
Well Sock that’s him.

01:06:54:19 – 01:07:02:21
Nathan Crane
I love tapping. I love tapping. I love the work by Byron Cady. Both of those are incredibly powerful emotional healing modalities, by the way. Yeah.

01:07:03:05 – 01:07:03:12
Marci Shimoff
Yeah.

01:07:03:18 – 01:07:05:21
Nathan Crane
You know, I might have to check that out. I haven’t heard of that, but.

01:07:05:21 – 01:07:32:20
Marci Shimoff
It’s a really wonderful process. And I just I think that it really is for each individual to figure out what’s the thing that I’m going to do in this moment. You know, my husband and I, when we’ve got triggers with each other, we stop. If it’s something that we have that we know was off, that we did, we do do overs all the time, constantly just catching ourselves and going, Yeah, that was an old habit.

01:07:32:20 – 01:07:57:24
Marci Shimoff
The way I said that, that was old. I didn’t really let me let me get more conscious and let me do it again. I mean, something as simple as a do over and can really change things. And I’m going to add something else. This is totally a different track, but it is about our relationships because I brought up my husband, I want to bring up this this little exercise.

01:07:57:24 – 01:08:26:24
Marci Shimoff
That’s the simplest thing. And you think, Oh, God, I’ve heard that before. I’m on Marcy, but it works. My husband and I, we’ve been together 25 years. We were walking on the beach in Hawaii two years ago with a couple that are super happy, and they’ve been together 37 years and my husband and I have had some we’re both very like Italian and that you which you know, we’ve got a lot of energy.

01:08:27:13 – 01:08:47:20
Marci Shimoff
Me I remember actually that’s a little technique we do with each other when we get a little nasty, just we put our faces up to each other and pretend we’re like dogs and get one, and then instantly we break into laughter. But that’s for disturbances. But anyway, this couple said they’ve been together 37 years and it was super happy.

01:08:47:20 – 01:09:06:06
Marci Shimoff
And they said, We do one thing, we’ve done it for years and that is we do an appreciation practice every morning and every night we tell each other something we appreciate about each other or a few things. So Sergio and I committed to doing this for 30 with each other. And the other thing is you can ask for it any time during the day as well.

01:09:06:21 – 01:09:40:17
Marci Shimoff
And we we don’t do it every morning and every night. We did for 30 days, but we do it very, very often. And I will say that simple little thing has really shifted the energy of our relationship in a way that’s dramatic. And so you the appreciation game is just something I appreciate about you is that you took the puppy out for a walk yesterday when you knew I was busy and something I appreciate about you as you make me laugh, it’s something I appreciate about you is that you are such a deep, deep b you know, it could be anything from what they did to who they are.

01:09:40:17 – 01:09:52:14
Marci Shimoff
Essence And it just shifts the energy of a relationship. I just I always say, don’t take my word for anything. Try it out in your own life and see what see if it works for you. Use your life as an experiment.

01:09:53:06 – 01:10:14:16
Nathan Crane
I love that. I mean, it’s basically similar to gratitude practice, right? I have a great way to practice every day, morning and at night. And, you know, but that’s that’s for myself. And I’m grateful for my wife and my kids and roof over our heads and food and, you know, simple things, right? So simple things that get that you can focus on that that can help to stimulate that positive energy within yourself.

01:10:14:16 – 01:10:32:06
Nathan Crane
But that saying what you appreciate about each other, we do that in some of our team meetings from time to time. I do it. We do it at dinner sometimes with friends, but it’s probably way too far and few in between. When I do that, like with or friends. And so I’m going to I’m going to take that one.

01:10:32:06 – 01:10:33:20
Nathan Crane
Thank you very much. And then.

01:10:33:20 – 01:10:53:16
Marci Shimoff
Habit. It’s the habit. And you know, what happened with us is we didn’t realize that the other person was appreciative. I didn’t realize that Sergio appreciated certain things about me. I didn’t think he noticed it. But hearing him say it, I felt seen and validated in ways that I hadn’t before. And this is, you know, after a long relationship already.

01:10:53:24 – 01:11:02:03
Marci Shimoff
So just a habit of it. It’s beautiful. Beautiful. So I’m glad. Report back to me how it goes. Nathan, I want to hear.

01:11:03:11 – 01:11:10:23
Nathan Crane
I will for sure. I’m getting some good nuggets here, so thank you. And a couple of things before we kind of wrap up here.

01:11:11:06 – 01:11:14:05
Marci Shimoff
And there’s one I want to share with people, if I can.

01:11:14:11 – 01:11:15:06
Nathan Crane
Yeah, go ahead, please.

01:11:15:12 – 01:11:17:09
Marci Shimoff
For the body category. Is it okay?

01:11:17:14 – 01:11:18:15
Nathan Crane
Yeah. Oh, please.

01:11:19:03 – 01:11:57:20
Marci Shimoff
Alls under one that you have so much experience with and you may even know this practice, but this particular practice for helping create helping raise your serotonin levels has helped me almost more than anything else. And it’s so easy. I learned this from a man named Gilles Marin. He is a Chinese song master key need song is a form of qigong, I believe, that relates to the stomach and the digestion and he he told me that the fastest way I can shift my serotonin is to do a sunning meditation.

01:11:57:20 – 01:12:27:20
Marci Shimoff
And what the sunning meditation is, is that you go outside and you do this ideally twice a day and you face the sun. Now I’ll tell you what to do if there’s no sun out but you face the sun with your eyes closed super important Your eyes are closed and you imagine the sun’s rays coming through your closed eyelids and hitting the middle of your head, the pineal gland, and warming up the pineal gland.

01:12:28:06 – 01:12:54:17
Marci Shimoff
And you can also imagine it showering down your whole body. But you don’t even need to you just you just feel the warmth of the sun’s rays or imagine when those sun’s rays coming in with your closed up through your closed eyelids and warming up and lighting up the pineal gland. You do it for about 2 minutes. Ideally a day, and within one week you will have shifted your serotonin levels, which is your main happiness chemical.

01:12:54:17 – 01:13:16:16
Marci Shimoff
It also shifts your melatonin. Melatonin helps you sleep. The better you sleep, the more melatonin you have, the more serotonin you have. So it’s this beautiful cycle and that sun meditation is just magnificent. Now, if there are clouds, you still can have you can still see where the sun would be and imagine the rays coming through. Even though there are clouds.

01:13:16:16 – 01:13:38:20
Marci Shimoff
If it’s raining or you can’t go outside, then instead you just look with open eyes at anything beautiful in nature, flowers or tree and that will also help increase your serotonin. Not as much as the sunny meditation will, but it will also help you. So again, try it out, see how it works for you. Have you heard that one before?

01:13:38:20 – 01:13:58:02
Nathan Crane
Nathan Yeah, I’ve been doing that for many years. Actually. One of my very first early spirits was I didn’t know there was like a whole practice in a whole, you know, thing around it. One of my very first early spiritual teachers in San Diego is probably like 15, 17 years ago, he he actually led me through like a meditation like that.

01:13:58:02 – 01:14:21:18
Nathan Crane
And we face the sun, close our eyes kind of in a qigong stance, kind of connecting to the energy of the earth and the heavens. And then just looking at it, we it both ways, actually looking towards the sun. And then the other way was turning our backs to the sun and then absorbing, like visualizing, absorbing all that energy in through the back side of the body, which actually feels different and very powerful at the same time.

01:14:23:07 – 01:14:48:12
Nathan Crane
And so, yeah, I’ve very often I, I try to every day go outside, I get barefoot, sit on a little table, I just get barefoot on the earth and then sit in the sun, close my eyes, you know, do some deep breathing, do some some light meditation. I try and do that every day. And some days I miss it, but every day I do it, I feel so much better.

01:14:48:12 – 01:15:16:05
Nathan Crane
I feel amazing. Right? Plus, you’re getting the vitamin D, which is an essential hormone for immune system function for mental and physical well-being by getting that sunshine. And we actually know by studies worldwide that almost 60% of people are deficient in vitamin D. This is omnivores. Vegans doesn’t matter what you eat because, one, you’re not getting it from the food, even if you’re you know, if someone’s on omnivore diet, too, you’re not people aren’t getting enough sunshine.

01:15:16:18 – 01:15:38:08
Nathan Crane
They’re not getting enough sunshine because they’re inside all day long with these fake lies behind their computer screens and in offices and in cars. And don’t get outside, you know, if you get 20 to 30 minutes of sunshine most days, if you’re, you know, not too far north or south away from the equator, then you’ll generally get more than a vitamin D, vitamin D that you need.

01:15:38:08 – 01:16:00:22
Nathan Crane
But if you’re not getting enough vitamin D, your mental and emotional health and well-being is drastically reduced. And there’s a substantial amount of science on that. Not to mention your immune system function is drastically reduced. So, you know, I always encourage people to test your vitamin D levels and see where they’re at before you take a supplement. You’re probably deficient a little bit.

01:16:00:22 – 01:16:16:19
Nathan Crane
The supplement is not going to hurt. So take a supplement if you need to, but get outside, get the sunshine as often as you can. And even better, do this sunny meditation you’re just talking about because you do you feel so much better. And in five or 10 minutes you feel amazing sitting out in the sun meditating. It’s incredible.

01:16:18:00 – 01:16:27:02
Marci Shimoff
Well, I love what you just taught me about turning my back and having the sun warm the back as well and feeling the rays coming in. I would even think visualize.

01:16:27:02 – 01:16:46:02
Nathan Crane
It, go like through. So if you feel it coming through the back, like through the center, the whole, but really the energy focus through the center of the back, coming into the heart from behind. And it’s this like you feel all this radiant energy go right into your heart. And it’s, it’s really incredible. Like, I’ll do it before I have an interview like this.

01:16:46:02 – 01:16:57:00
Nathan Crane
Even if I only have 2 minutes, I’ll go boom outside barefoot, connect to the ground, you know, get that sun coming through my body and it’s it’s amazing how quick of a difference it makes actually.

01:16:57:22 – 01:17:02:19
Marci Shimoff
So I learned I’m going to go that I can’t wait to go do that.

01:17:02:20 – 01:17:17:00
Nathan Crane
But Marci has been awesome connecting with you again. I think I’ve done probably three or four interviews with you over the years. I got to say, this is definitely my favorite one, so thanks for taking the time and people.

01:17:17:02 – 01:17:43:02
Marci Shimoff
To get to sit down with you. Yeah, you’re amazing. You what I’m so impressed with, I just have to say for you, you have really done the work, you know, everything about you know, I feel like I could bring up anything. And you’ve you’ve touched on it. You’ve you’ve or you’ve dove deep into it. And it really shows and it shows in your light, in your brightness and in in all that, you know?

01:17:43:02 – 01:17:46:08
Marci Shimoff
So it’s always great to get to talk to you. I’ll talk to you any time any day of the week.

01:17:46:23 – 01:18:07:11
Nathan Crane
That’s awesome. Well, thank you. I appreciate you so much. I get to learn from people like you and the masters who’ve come before us. So thanks again. People want to buy your books. Happy for no reason, love for no reason. They want to attend your your. I know you’ve got your online course we actually share that with our community is a yearlong year of miracles which is amazing.

01:18:07:17 – 01:18:16:10
Nathan Crane
I need to free webinars beginning of each year, but if you want to get in touch with you by your books, connect, join your community. What’s the best website for them to go to?

01:18:17:03 – 01:18:31:20
Marci Shimoff
Happily for no reason dot com or your year of miracles dot com. Both of those are great they have the information on the happiness is at happy for no reason dot com and your year of miracles for your miracles dot com you rock.

01:18:31:20 – 01:18:33:06
Nathan Crane
Marci, appreciate it so much.

01:18:34:03 – 01:18:37:14
Marci Shimoff
Thank you. You rock, dude. Lots of love to everyone.

01:18:37:20 – 01:18:38:06
Nathan Crane
Take care.